Tirteen.

HA! "13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?" OMG. I think about this everyday. It's quite sad really. 

There are many parts of growing up that I hate. That are hard. That make me want to curl up in my bed and die sometimes. I guess they're not all that bad, but some days they seem really...suckish. 

First thing that comes to my mind is money problems. I don't necessarily have problems paying my bills or buying things I want or need but I hate even THINKING about money. I hate thinking about how much money we're spending and making; is it enough? Should we really splurge on that? Do we really need this? I guess it's good to be money conscious but sometimes I feel like I obsess over it. I get buyers remorse about EVERYTHING because I wonder if I could have/should have saved my money and spent it on something better for our future. I wish we lived in a world (somehow) where money didn't exist. We just traded goods and services or something and we were all happy and had the things we needed. Huh. 

I hate all things about growing up that I don't understand. I hate anything that has to do with taxes, insurance, bills, etc. I know I took some classes on these things like financial literacy in high school but honestly I feel like an idiot whenever I think about this stuff. What kind of tax form do I need? What do I write on line 15? Who do I ask when I have no idea? What kind of insurance do I need? What's a 401k? What kind of benefits do I NOT have? Sigh. 

Growing up is hard because you have to worry about everything. It's so much easier to just worry about you, yourself, and...you. I miss the times when I was just a kid and the world revolved around me (in my head). I didn't have to worry about making sure other people are happy or content or that I'm not offending someone or making anyone feel uncomfortable. I miss the days where the only thing I'd worry about is which flavor of ice cream I wanted or what Disney movie I would watch before bedtime. I miss spending all day outside playing with my friends without a care in the world. I hate having to just think about working and saving money and planning for the future. It seems like when you're 12 years old you just want to be 16 so you can date. When you're 16 you just want to be 18 so you can be considered an adult. When you're 18 you just want to be 21 because even though you always felt like you'd feel like an adult when you turned 18 you really don't because it's still "eight-teen." And when you're 21-23, my age, you just want it all to go away and you want to be 12 again, playing lava tag on the couches. I guess this cycle continues on and on. I'm going to try really hard to relay this information to my kids so they can somehow realize that growing up isn't all it's made out to be and that they should enjoy every single day of being a kid. 

Another part of growing up that's hard is dealing with reality. When you're young, the world is your oyster. If you want to be an astronaut, that's what you tell people you're going to be and you prepare each day blasting off and jumping off your bed so one day you can be launched into space to discover another planet. You could be a supermodel or a mafia member or whatever you want when you're little. But then you grow up and you see how much it costs to get an education these days and how much housing is and groceries and gas and everything else and you begin to settle. You settle with a job that's convenient for you and that you feel comfortable doing. You decide on a career that will maybe pay the bills or that has the benefits your family needs. Where did all of those dreams go? I think they're still in there but we have to hide them very carefully so we aren't crushed by the realization that probably won't all work out the way we wanted. 

Other hard parts about growing up: 
Body goes to crap. 
People you love pass away, get sick, suffer.  
Relationships you used to have deteriorate and sometimes disappear. 
You have to be responsible.
You have to learn to cook, and clean, and do never-ending laundry. 
You have to deal with comparisons with everyone else. Am I doing all that I could with my life? Am I having as much fun as everyone else? Why doesn't my life seem as exciting as theirs? 
Less time for yourself. 
Hard decisions that can affect your whole life and the lives of those around you. 
Etc. 

I think in order to be happy and grow up at the same time you really have to make the conscious effort to look at the positives in your life. You have to literally count your blessings and realize how great the life is that you have. I'm so incredibly grateful for all of the things I have in my life. My husband, family, friends, home, job, and other opportunities I have... (there are SO many). Whenever I think about how much I hate growing up or I just want to die because we just got the utility bill and it's up $50 bucks from last time, I just have to focus on the fact that I even have a utility bill. A utility bill means I have a home with heat or AC or electricity so I can cook and have entertainment. I'm thankful for the laundry I have because it means I can afford to have clothes, clean clothes. I'm thankful for taxes because that means I have a job and I'm a member of this great country. 

Well...and that's how you do it :) 

Ingrid Michaelson--Sort Of 
Regina Spektor--The Calculation
Kate Nash--Navy Taxi