Olee Cdrap!

Oh, hey there beautiful.

Sooooo I completely suck at blogging, again. Story of most of my life; I get into something, devote hours to it, then get bored of it and move onto something else. I do this with reading, drawing, painting, obviously blogging, crocheting, cooking, etc. I really need to stick to something... but whatev! 

So I have to do a quick update. Not because anything new or exciting is happening in my life but I have to blog about my awesome little sister and her GRADUATION. I'm so proud of her! Ya hear that Z? I am so freakin' proud of you I can't even stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anywho, today was her graduation and I'm not gonna lie I got teary-eyed more than once. I can't believe how grown up she is and that she's all done with kindergarten, elementary school, and now high school. It seems unreal. I'm so excited to see what's in store for her. She's got the world at her fingertips and she really is smart enough and determined enough that she could do ANYTHING she puts her mind to. Love ya guuuuuurl :D 

Besides blubbering about my little sister growing up (tear) not too much has been going on. Last week we were able to have a 3 day weekend with Memorial Day being on Monday and can I just say I needed that?! I need a vacation. Really, my life isn't that hard but I tend to make mountains out of molehills and can get stressed out really easily. Last week was pretty rough but this week has been nice and laid back so I think I'm getting the little break I need before CRAZY summer starts. Most people are excited for summer, and I am, but I'm also a little nervous. Summer means working a few more hours and dealing with some craaazy, stinky, sweaty, (but awesome) kids.

Two days later...

So yeah! Summer club is starting up on Monday and I'm pretty excited for that. I was dreading it until today. We had a staff meeting and I'm excited about the people I'll be working with this summer. The meeting/training kind of gave me a refresher and helped remind me why I work there. I love the kids at the club and hope I can keep making a difference and helping them each day. Blah blah blah, but it's true :) 

The next few bits will be me catching up on the little blogging challenge. I think having this "challenge" has hindered me from writing a little because I want to say something clever and witty each time I write. I've given up on that though and you'll just get what comes out of my brain. Braaaaaiiiin vomiiiiiit! Braaaaaaains... Zombies... Yessss. 

7. What is your dream job, and why? Dream job... I think this question scares me. If I decide what my "dream job" is and give it a title, I fear that when/if I don't achieve that specific title, I'll be disappointed. So saying "my dream job is to be a counselor!" is kind of setting myself up for disappointment. Not that I don't think I could ever get to that point, I just don't really even know what my dream job is yet.. So I'll go ahead and describe some of the characteristics of my dream job. My dream job would pay enough that I wouldn't have to really worry about money. I don't want to have a fancy car or a huge house, I just want enough that  I don't need to worry about bills, insurance, buying gifts I actually want to get people, etc. That's right. Buying gifts for people is a freakin' dilemma. So it'd be nice to make enough that none of those worries plague my everyday life. The next thing is that my job is fulfilling. I never want to work at a job where I hate what I do or who I work with. I don't want to work somewhere where I dread going to work or feel like I'm not making some sort of positive difference in SOMEONE'S life. I would want to feel happy about the work I do. Another thing which isn't really a priority right now but probably will be someday is like...flexibility. When I have a family I don't want to have to worry about getting fired if I have to stay home with my sick kid or leave because one of my crazy kids broke their arm at school. I want to work somewhere where they understand that life happens and that family is pretty dang important. Hey, a girl can dream right? 

8. What are 5 passions you have? As anyone who knows me already knows I have many passions. I don't always stick to them or devote as much time to them as I'd like but I sure do have a lot of them. One passion I have is helping people. Sounds suuuuuper corny but growing up with kind of a chaotic family life it made me appreciate things that I might have taken for granted of if my life would have been different. Hmm, just read that back, didn't make sense. Hopefully you get the gist because I'm too lazy to reword it right now. Anywho, I feel like since I've experienced a lot of joy and happiness I have this need to help others to feel that too. There's too much hurt in the world for people to turn the other cheek and ignore other people's suffering. There will always be suffering in the world but if we all worked to help each other out this life could  be even better than it is right now. 

Another passion I have is art. I love to sketch, draw, and paint. I would feel much happier about this passion of mine if every time I sat down to make some art it turned out the way I wanted but what in life works like that, right? My favorite things to paint/draw are people, unintentionally jacked-up faces, nature, animals, etc. Art is just a great way to get into the "flow" that I've talked about before and when for the .5% of the time my pictures turn out decent it's just very...lovely. 

Another passion is reading. I love to read. Fiction, nonfiction, horror, romance, sci-fi, I love a little bit of everything. Reading is one of those things that can help when you need to just get away from the world. I've read the Harry Potter series like 8 times and I'm hoping that one day Dumbledore (alive and well) shows up at my doorstep and tells me they lost my invite to Hogwarts in the mail and I'm going to the wonderful and magical school of witchcraft and wizardry. Again, a girl can dream. (Yes, I just went there).

Music. Right now it's May 31st and I have been reminded about 15 times in the last 3 days that I'm approaching my listening limit on Pandora music radio. I'm pretty sure I have about 1 or 2 more hours left (the limit is 40 hours per month) and then will have to listen from my laptop. I will be using this time up during this blog post, you're welcome. Seriously though. Music is just, a part of life. I have music on in the morning when I get ready, in my car on my way to work, at work, on the way home, and when I blog, paint, clean, and while I shower. I love happy music that can inspire you or can make you smile or feel excited about life. I love music that is silly and upbeat. I CANNOT STAND depressing music that makes you sad and well, depressed. Who has time for that in their life? Ain't nobody got time fo that! Seriously. Turn that shiz off! Haha just kiddin', you listen to whatever you want little one :) 

Last passion... I would say for the last of the five I'll just list a few that I have instead of really elaborating on one. I have a new-found passion for growing things like plants and flowers. I'm not very good at it but there's nothing like waking up each day and seeing your little plants grow a little taller and sprout more. Maybe this will change when I have an actually baby but for now, it's sufficient for me. I love buying school supplies. My husband always has to steer me away from the pen isle at Wal Mart because I could literally spend my entire life savings on new pens, markers, and pencils. I have boxes of new pens and pencils and still have the need to get more. I love a new fresh notebook that has yet to be written in. I love folders, planners, and graph paper. I could never have enough of these things. It's like a shoe obsession, but not. Another passion I have is for learning. I don't know a lot about one thing but I feel like I know a little about a lot of things. Article on how to be a good parent on Pinterest? Read it. Label on my can of pop? Seen it. Ingredients in this dinner I will probably never make? Looked it over a few times. I wish I had a photographic memory because if I could remember every little thing I ever read I would be a freakin' genius. People would pay me to tell them about random crap I read. I just know it. 

There are more passions, maybe I'll add them as they pop into my brain.

9. List 5 people who have influenced you and describe how. Ooooo. A people one. These always get me. I'm gonna go ahead and say screw it to the 5 number because that makes me stress about order and who I met first and who I see most and blah blah blah craziness in my brain...a;sldkfja;lsdkfj... Okay, here goes. 

First person I can say that has really influenced me is my grandma. Most people know their grandma as the lady that smells funny or squeezes your cheeks when you see her or makes cookies like nobody's business. For me my grandma was like a legit parent. When I was 13 my grandma took custody of me and my sister. She'd been helping take care of us since before I can remember but we actually moved in with her in Brigham City when I was 13. My oma (as we call her) is definitely one of the most influential people in my life. She has taught me how to be compassionate to everyone, behind closed doors, without making a fuss about it. She's definitely this top-secret granny-hero who goes around doing good deeds and people don't even see what she does and she receives no applause of fanfare. She has taught me to be a hardworking woman who is dependent on no one but herself. I'm not quite to where I'd like to be with that, like she is, but I feel like I'm improving a little more everyday. She will never ask for help, even as she's getting older and is in pain every day from back problems. She's strong-willed and stubborn, the way a lot of us women should be. She doesn't take crap from anyone and she'll tell it like it is. She's the most selfless person I can think of and I honestly have no idea where I would be in my life today without her. I definitely wouldn't have gone to college or even graduated high school without her pushing me to be the best I could be. I wouldn't have met my sweetheart or felt good enough to marry such a wonderful guy if it wasn't for her helping me to feel confident about myself and my life. I seriously can't say enough about her and how much I appreciate all that's she's done for me. Thanks oma. 

Oh, and she makes great cookies, too. 

Another person I can put is my hubby. I've already gone on and on about him in previous posts so I'll spare the lovey-dovey part and talk about how he is my ROCK. Sometimes I'm such a freak with my anxiety and social-retarded-ness, but guess what? He still loves me. (I don't get it either.) He's really helped me to reach out and do things in my life for me. When I get too scared to try something new or take a risk he's always there to tell me that no matter what he's there for me and that things will work out. Some days I'll come home, wanting to cry from a terrible day and think, I honestly could not cope with life sometimes if I didn't have the support system I do. He's so positive, hopeful, and encouraging. I feel like I can conquer the world with him at my side. Thanks babe :) 

My little oober goober sister is another person who has influenced me. Picture me, all scared of the world and hiding in my shell and then picture her, an outgoing and fearless social butterfly. She's younger than I am but she shows no fear. She's up for going out with her friends every night of the week, getting a new job, trying new things and meeting new people. She is always helping me to feel like it's okay that I have weaknesses but it's also a good thing to step out of my bubble. She is the most resilient and loving sister anyone could ask for. She helps me to feel loved and I know I can be the stinkiest, weirdest, most crazy person in the entire world and she'll still love me. She's had a huge influence on me and the person I've become and I only hope I can be as independent, adventurous, and strong as her someday. Thanks little seester. 

There are many more people that have influenced me as well but I'm honestly too tired to write them all out. Sorry guys! I will get you in here someday though :) Just a few though that I have to mention who have taught me things or influenced me in some way. 

My mom taught me to love. She has a huge love for all things animals, nature, and those closest to her. She would take in any animal and love it like one of her own children. She is always nursing her little plants back to life and befriending those that need it most. She has taught me to love all people, from all different walks of life. This is something I will keep with me for the rest of my life. Thanks ma. 

My dad has taught me to laugh. Oh, and gave me my awesome love for classic rock!!!!!! I remember driving with him in the car when I was just a little girl and he would play the air guitar on the steering wheel while I did the drums or...wait for it...the triangle. Hahahaha. He would quiz me about who sung the song that was on as fast as I could. I remember guessing "Styx!" "Led Zeppelin " or "Pink Floyd!" I think my love for a wide variety of music is because of him. Other things that I'll keep with me forever thanks to him is my appreciation for the wonderful junk food and pizza in this world, my obsession with horror movies, and my strong love for family even when you don't see them very often. Thanks dad. 

My aunt Holli, thanks for being another one of my parents. I have a lot of people who I would consider parents because of the love and support they've shown me since I was a little girl until now and forever. I remember thinking about how I wanted my life to be when I was all grown up and had a family of my own. I always saw myself at your house, feeling safe and loved, and playing army/CIA/"boy stuff" with your sons. I hope I can be as good of a mom and wife/aunt/daughter/friend/mom as you are someday. Thanks Holli. 

Other people that have influenced me include my awesome in-laws and sibling-in laws. Family near and far that I don't see enough of. Teachers from middle and high school. (Thanks Mrs. Williams!) Coworkers. Friends. Friends of friends. Random people on TV that are inspirational. College teachers. Thank you all for helping me to become the person I am. I know I missed a lot of people who have influenced me here but just know you are in my heart. (This post is getting a little long.) But thanks for believing in me, and showing me unconditional love. I honestly could never repay any of you so just...thanks :) 



Phillip Phillip--Home 
Ingrid Michaelson--Be Ok
Bob Marley--One Love
Ingrid Michaelson--Everybody
Regina Spektor--One More Time With Feeling
Amo Lee--Sweet Pea 

I wish I could put all these songs together on a playlist for when you read my posts. Go listen to some of them! :)