3 Months

Sometimes I worry about blogging about things like my son, being a mom, my extremely ordinary life because I'm sure no one has one crap to give about any of it. However, life is good and I like to write about it :)

Landon is 3.5 months old. HOLY FREAKING COW. Where does the time go??? Just looking at my last post, he was 7 WEEKS old and I can't even believe it. He is a little firecracker who knows what he wants and who knows that his mommy is going to give it to him. He is full of smiles and CHUNK like no other.

Can I just say, again, that being a mom is hard? The hardest thing I've ever done. My meals are all cold, some nights I don't have time for a shower, my house isn't clean and the laundry isn't done. What DO I do all day? I have no idea; besides take care of this little studly, whiny, handsome, difficult, adorable boy.

It's difficult knowing I'm not contributing financially or that I'm not making a difference in the world. Long gone are my hopes of traveling to exotic places and solving world hunger (for now). I know I'll never join the Peace Corps or live as a homeless bum in another country just for the adventure. My dreams now are all about my little family. Making sure my hubby gets a good meal when he gets home (still a daily struggle), is Landon favoring one hand over the other? When will he start to sleep through the night? Are there biodegradable diapers? What's this red dot on his skin? Ope! Time to get those boogies! OH WOW, my life has changed. Surprisingly though, I'm happier than I've ever been. Hours and hours of screaming and crying and blow-outs and sleepless nights are often easy to forget when I wake up and see my little guy's smiling, toothless grin. Sounds freaking weird, I know.

So yeah! Life is good. I'm consumed with motherhood and wifey-hood and right now I don't think I would have it any other way. Pete is just trucking along in school and working his butt off; can't believe how lucky I am to have such a hard-working and just flat out AMAZING hubby. I am truly blessed.

CAUTION: this is becoming purely a mommy post.

The real reason that I sat down to write tonight wasn't really to just update the blog, but because I am a little troubled. I've been hearing and reading about so much as a new parent, because I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time. Can I just say, there is so much freaking judgement and conflicting information out there?! Breast is best, don't co-sleep, let your baby cry-it-out, don't spoil him, you can't spoil a young baby enough, etc. Seriously what is a new mom supposed to do? So far, my strategy has been to read about a problem as much as possible, ask for advice, and then just trust my instincts and see what happens! It's been working out well but we've definitely had our struggles.

Breastfeeding for me was absolutely the biggest struggle I had during the first few weeks (actually, months!) after my son was born. Not only did I have the normal struggles of latching, positioning, pumping, milk supply, and just not knowing what the heck I was doing... I had the pleasure of experiencing plugged milk ducts, mastitis, and eventually had to deal with a painful and horrifying abscess. Fortunately, after many, many, MANY tears, hours of reading and research, and sheer perseverance, I got the hang of it. Our little guy is now a healthy chunk who can't go anywhere without hearing "look at those cheeks!" or "look at those thunder thighs!" I just smile to myself because that's exactly what I'd always hoped for.

New moms, breastfeeding is freaking hard. My advice is to seek out support and don't give up. Set small goals. I still remember telling my husband, "This is the last night! I'm done breastfeeding!" over and over and over and over until I started to realize it was slowly but surely getting easier.  I always read how "it gets easier" but never believed it until it  really did. So tell yourself, if you truly want to keep nursing, that you can do it for one more week. Hopefully, that will turn into "one more month." "until he/she is 3 months old." "maybe I can make it to 6 months." And, as I'm still saying when I have to nurse in an uncomfortable place (like the NASTY bathroom at Comic Con) "if I can make it 7 more months, I will finally be DONE!"

More advice: follow/like La Leche League and Kellymom.com. Those two websites are very informational and supportive. Learn to look forward to nursings, because before you know it your little one will be eating solids and won't need you for nourishment/comfort any longer. Find a good book series or keep your phone/tablet close by. Talk to a lactation consultant if you have problems; neither my physician or OBGYN had any real advice about breastfeeding besides "it's ok to switch to formula." And most importantly, do what is best for you and your child. Nutritionally speaking, breast milk is said to be best. But pumping/nursing doesn't work for everyone and a lot of women lose their milk or are unable to breastfeed for a lot of different reasons. If that happens, take comfort in the fact that you are doing your best; you know what is best for your child and for yourself and it's ok if things change or don't work out quite the way you'd hoped.

Next thing that I feel the need to get off my chest is all of this mommy judgement. People need to stop judging other moms! I recently read a post that said something to the effect of...

If you're breastfeeding your child, you're a great mom.
If you're formula feeding your child, you're a great mom.
If your child bed-shares with you because you think that is what's best for him/her, you're a great mom.
If your child is sleeping only in their crib, you're a great mom.
If your child is sleeping through the night, you're a great mom.
If your child is still waking up to nurse/get a bottle, you're a great mom.
Etc., etc., etc.

Moms need to quit beating themselves up and quit beating each other up. We're all doing our best so just remember that the next time you go to make a snap judgement because one mom chose a different option than you. Please stop forcing your advice onto other moms, unless they ask for it. ESPECIALLY if you can see that you're causing them distress or causing them to doubt their own abilities as a mother.

That is all, lol. Good luck mommies. You're all amazing!!!